The ability to forgive has always been difficult for me, a forgiving nature is something I lack; I am not saying I do not forgive it just does not come easy for me. Everyone around me knows it’s better to make me mad than to hurt me because if I’m mad I will get over it but if I’m hurt that’s it for me and you -it shouldn’t be that way I know but it is.
I put my hurt in a box mark it as things to forget then place it in the furthest part of my mind until it becomes so consuming that I have no choice but to face it. Recently I had to decide if I was going to stay hurt at two persons who I really cared about, one was romantic and the other was platonic but their actions cracked my heart a little and I didn’t know if I could let it go.
Here is what I realize, I am only hurting myself carrying around the hurt someone has already forgiven themselves for causing me. I refuse to be that person that lives in the past, so I have been pressing myself to forgive more, not to please anyone else but instead to please myself.
I thought about how many times I’ve sinned or done things I had to seek forgiveness from God for, there was never a moment when I felt he didn’t forgive me cause I know he is many things and a forgiving God is one of them. I would tell God I am human; I am not perfect, and I would not want to be a perfect person even if I had the option to be. EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES and with that being said I have no desire to hold someone accountable for a past mistake they have genuinely apologized for, made peace with and want to move forward from, who they were at that particular time might not be who they are right now after all the only constant thing in life is change and as humans we are constantly changing.
Here is my advice for healing and forgiving, the only true way to heal is to forgive and you can forgive someone and not want anything to do with them especially if they were toxic but you can also forgive someone and start over; the choice is yours. Don’t carry that hurt around, it is HEAVY, let that shit go! The best version of yourself is healing from the past not allowing it to destroy your present. Until next time, stay blessed 😊!
THIS WEEK’S RECOMMENDATIONS
It’s all music this week, I’m sorry but music has been my escape for a few days now so let it be yours.
“Stalk Ashley- OPEN.”, this song is a MOOD! I have been listening to it repetitiously trying to process all these feelings a particular guy has your girl feeling. This is a really good song because it talks about our desire for someone to let us in and allow us to love them without fear.
“Stalk Ashley feat WSTRN Deserted”, again this is a mood and a little different from open but you’ll still enjoy it. Both songs were released on Mother’s Day and they are healing to be honest. I’ve been listening to them non-stop!