My family is convinced by my mid-thirties I’ll be the cat lady who admires her wall of degrees and numerous accomplishments with no husband or children in sight. They aren’t completely wrong, within their exaggerated ‘prediction’ partial truths exist, I do envision myself staring at a wall filled with my achievements but I’m not a cat or animal person so I can’t see myself having a room filled with them but BOOKS, yessss! I would collect and store books in a room for weekdays and weekends reads.
The institution of marriage is something I’ve always admired, the idea of finding someone you’d like to spend and navigate the rest of your life with has a nice appeal to me but I know it’s not for everybody. Thus, the reason I strongly dislike when it’s forced upon a person or used as a measure to determine ‘an accomplished or successful life’ because, in all honesty, HAPPINESS VARIES!
Children are a blessing from God, I’ve been hearing that saying since I was a child myself, but it hasn’t eased my petrified mind knowing this. Pushing a small human out of an even smaller space, scares me a lot, your body changes, and then you are responsible for a human. You have to then raise said human to be an upstanding citizen which doesn’t always happen; it’s a lot of pressure and pressure burse pipes (do you know that saying?).
It’s a BIG DECISION, you have to be mentally prepared along with being in a good physical and financial state, some persons will never be ready for something like this, others need time to reach this point and then you have persons who are ready. Whatever category you fall under, your decision is okay.
I asked my coworkers how they felt about this topic, they are all at different phases of their life (their names will remain anonymous) : Strawberry is going through a divorce after 10+ years of marriage, Banana is engaged (soon to be married), Pineapple is in a 15+ years relationship and Cherry is the same age as me except she’s in a committed relationship (happily in love).
In the midst of a divorce, strawberry is still not afraid of marriage and would definitely do it again because in her opinion ‘if you are married to the right person, meaning someone who’s gonna let you be you the marriage works better”. She also never wanted children, she quotes “never liked those little monsters until I had monsters of my own” and would love to have one more.
Banana is getting married because it’s something she has always wanted and once married she plans to invest her all into creating and sustaining a happy and healthy marriage to avoid a divorce. She is also very happy with her fiancé (has been since the day she met him) and can’t wait to spend the rest of her life with him. The last part makes my inner hopeless romantic teary.
Pineapple stated honestly, she would like to get married but she’s too scared that it would change her relationship with her partner. This is something partners in a long-term relationship can relate to it’s been good for umpteen years why change it, that change might ruin everything and this is a valid reason to be scared in my opinion.
Cherry and I are the same age, she isn’t married as yet because “the man hasn’t asked me yet LMFAO” she also added “everything takes time in life I won’t rush marriage” but she most definitely wants kids!
A huge thank you to my coworkers for sharing their thoughts, I really appreciate it! I believe without the pressure I will eventually get married and have kids if that’s what is in the cards for me. I don’t hate the idea, but marriage and kids aren’t for everybody, normalize that.
What do you think, are marriage and children overrated?
Thanks for reading!💕