This week was filled with impulsive decisions, heavy day drinking, funny friend dates, body positivity and the end of a toxic friendship, I’m still reflecting on everything that has happened and there’s no regret at this moment. I feel oddly comfortable with every good and bad decision I’ve made and I don’t feel the need to overexplain myself. As of late, I’ve been trying to end things peacefully which is a far cry from how I used to close chapters so I’m proud of myself for that.
I finished watching Nappily Ever After on Netflix on Wednesday, the movie not only further increased my desire to cut all my hair off and get that butterfly tattoo I’ve been itching for but the plot and closing song gave me some food for thought. Violet (the main character) thought her hair defined her and in some ways it did but only because she gave her hair power over her life, when she lost all of it she had to start figuring out who the real Violet was and it was quite a journey but she did it!
The closing song ‘Holy’ by Jamila Woods had a lyric that tied everything together for me, “I’m not lonely, I’m alone and I’m holy on my own” which I could relate to, like seriously relate. I feel like I’m on this journey where I’m losing and gaining things, people and environments I once wanted so badly but did not need but didn’t realize this until they were removed from my life.
I’m okay with loving myself and losing things because I’m not lonely, I’m alone.
It’s okay to outgrow the things you taught you would have grown with.Girl in Her Twenties
I told my ex-friend this week that I’m not upset, I don’t care who is right or wrong, I just want to end this friendship peacefully because it’s clear we are growing at different/separate pace and it’s unhealthy to hinder each other; she is very upset about this.
I’m excited for what’s next in my life, I’m working on more self-love, body positivity and peace of mind, my summer goals are centered around publishing and promoting my book, financial freedom and spending quality time with friends and family while lowkey sneaking in a little summer romance if possible.
I have a lot of big decisions to make this summer and I want to be in the best mental space to do so, growing isn’t so bad after all my lovies.
How’s your weekend going? Did anyone get a butterfly tattoo? LOL