Maybe Living Alone Isn’t For Me

Maybe Living Alone Isn’t For Me

Photo source: HuffPost

Disclaimer: this is my blog thus these thoughts and opinions are mine. This is how I feel as it pertains to me and I’m speaking for myself. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions on this topic, I’m simply sharing mine.

Let’s dive into this week’s blog . . . Living alone, yes or no?

My mom and younger sister left for Jamaica at the ending of October and they returned home a few days ago after a two-week long trip. This was the first time in my life I was home alone, I had mixed emotions about it but my excitement to experience something like this outweighed the lingers in my mind. To be completely honest, living alone is something I’ve always considered and really wanted for myself. I had high hopes to one day live in my own apartment and just be me.

Those two-weeks were going to prove that perception and reality could align, at least that’s what I expected or hoped for.

My bestfriend came over, spent a week with me and that in itself was a learning experience because I’ve only ever lived with family. He and I have A LOT in common so the conversations were endless and we have similar living styles thus co-existing in the same house wasn’t hard. The learning part of the whole experience came when I started to think and question how different it would be if I was living with a significant other/partner. It made me question how would I handle sharing a space, household chores, television time and all that stuff. The first week prepared me in a sense for what life would be if I had been living with a roommate or partner.

It’s an experience I’m glad I had.

Week 2 I was all by MYSELF! The first thing I noticed was I didn’t cook a lot and if I did, there was enough food to last up to 2-3 days. Secondly, I enjoyed my days by myself even though I didn’t do much. Finally, my nights were scarier than I anticipated simply because I’m a woman and being a woman in 2021 you live in fear a lot more than a man in his bachelor pad.

It was hard to sleep through the nights. I would wake up at 1:00, 2:00 or 4:00 a.m. for no other reason than to check on myself.

By mid-week (Wednesday), I felt lonely. I had a desire for companionship and not one from text messaging or video calls but a real-life face to face one. I wanted to talk, make jokes and even binge-watch (something I don’t always like to do).

When you have lots of free time, you’re able to ponder more.

I realized I love my own space to be alone and think but I still wanted a home to share with someone else because I didn’t want to be lonely.

Girl in Her Twenties

At the end of it, I knew I wouldn’t enjoy living alone. Personally, it’s just not for me. I would prefer to live with my partner or a close friend but having my personal space to exist and be me. I’m easily drained and overwhelmed by people so I need my own space away from them at times. I like to hide away from the world and the people in it from time to time, I think whoever I’m living with would need to know and understand that beforehand.

I wonder what’s going to happen when I’m in my 30’s and seeking to buy my own home. Who will live with me then? Jokingly I retorted I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. A lot can change by my 30’s but for the present, living alone isn’t something I want for myself.

What about you, what do you think about living alone? Is it for you?

4 thoughts on “Maybe Living Alone Isn’t For Me

  1. I’ve never really lived alone, always thought it’d be great and then once in awhile I’d be on my own (because my housemates would be away) and I’d enjoy it during the day quite a bit until I had to go to sleep in an empty house where every small noise scared the living daylights out of me. That’s always been my fear, being in a house alone at night. So, that’s why I’ve never gone for it. It might seem silly but I have really bad anxiety and sleepless night combined with that just wouldn’t have made me happy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It doesn’t sound silly at all. I experienced it and I didn’t enjoy the non-existent sounds that felt like they existed and the constant nervous feeling that prevented a good night’s rest. Being in a house alone is definitely scary (hands down, no questions asked), living alone in a house alone is much scarier.

      Like

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