Dissecting the cluttered mind belonging to Cassie (me) has been the unintentional task on my agenda since last week and even this week. I’m unsure if being unemployed and always home is doing more harm than good at this point. I laughed while actually thinking about it. Left to ponder more, I’ve been reflecting on my rises and downfalls.
A need to learn, unlearn and relearn a few things definitely exists for me.
Learn: to gain or acquire knowledge of or skill in (something) by study, experience, or being taughtDefinitions from Oxford Languages
Learn how to put myself first more. This has been a constant thing spoken about on my blog, I’m a broken record at this point. There is a clear difference between being selfish and selfless but sometimes the lines blur for me and I’m unsure if I’m choosing the right side. I don’t put others first because of validation or to fill voids, I just do it because it feels so natural to help others. However, I need to set healthy boundaries in the beginning and not wait until it’s too late. The lesson I’m seeing in this mess is I can’t pour into myself if my cup is empty and sometimes my cup is VERY empty from pouring everything into others and leaving nothing for myself.
Unlearn: to discard (something learned, especially a bad habit or false or outdated information) from one’s memory.Definitions from Oxford Languages
Unlearn this “I’m behind and failing” mental habit. Comparison is the thief of joy and I see it more than ever now. I’m on social media seeing everyone doing all these things and the little negative voice in my head thinks its time to shine so it attempts to weigh me down with my list of unaccomplished goals once made by my optimistic self. It’s hard sometimes, especially when you want more for yourself but you feel stuck and unable to go out and achieve those goals. Thankfully, I’m unlearning this habit and relearning that my only competition is myself so be kinder and more patient. My path and journey is like no one else’s and it should never be, I’m not failing.
Relearn: to learn (something) again.Definitions from Oxford Languages
This one I’ve had more progress with, relearning myself. I’ve changed so much over the years, I’m not the girl who used to hide away and hurt in silence, I’m now a woman picking up the pieces and figuring out herself. It’s weird to say, I am a woman. I am a woman. I AM A WOMAN. Okay it sounds good to say. I have infinite potential and I’m on my own journey (I love that for me). I’m so in love with myself so I’m taking more time to reintroduce myself to myself. Did that make sense for you? It did for me.
How are you feeling today? What are you learning, unlearning and relearning at the moment?