Growing up in a single parent household and matriarchal family, I thought money equated to happiness. I thought if you had lots of it then you could fix things and you would be happier. As I grew older, I found out this wasn’t true. Money gave you the ability to buy, survive and do things. And even if I had lots of money it wouldn’t make me happy.
It would make me financially stable and comfortable but happiness is one thing it couldn’t guarantee. I remember in college I had this grand idea that my only focus would be on my career and to be in a managerial role by my early 30’s. Where I’m currently working, I’m seeing what the managerial role looks like and I don’t want it. Being in a role like that would take away from the things that bring me real joy.
My happiness is writing on this blog, journaling, being able to actually help others, self-care Sundays, spending time with my family, talking to my cousins, having quality time with my friends and my partner. Money just enables me to live comfortably but not happily.
Money makes the world go around but what does it do for the soul?Girl in Her Twenties
I’m deep in my thoughts this evening. I had this draft from a month ago and it’s shocking to see I still feel the same way. I had a very traditional upbringing that pushed academics and a traditional career path. Now I’m in a position where I’m an overachiever who can’t find job satisfaction in a traditional career. I thought I would because that’s how I was wired.
So now I’m trying to create my own narrative while fighting this wired feeling that I’m a failure for not succeeding at what I should have.
Does anyone else feel this way?