Maybe I’m Happy

Maybe I’m Happy

Usually I don’t like talking or writing about my feelings when I’m very happy. There’s this fear in me that I’ll jinx myself and end up in misery again. But why should we only talk about the bad stuff? I want to smile in the places I once cried so here’s to me smiling.

3 weeks ago I felt like I was between a rock and a hard place. I wanted to make the best decisions but I wasn’t sure if I had the guts for all that glory. I’m being vague but I don’t want this post to be long. I’ll probably try to write individual posts for the different situations (fingers crossed). Anyways I chose to have guts, faith in God and trust my intuition for all the situations I was facing at that time.

Fast forward to now and I’m feeling pretty good about my choices. There’s no guarantee that everything will continue to be how it is but I know I have no regrets. I’m a firm believer in divine timing and everything happening for a reason. I just want to live in the moment, savour the good times and smile.

The Easter weekend was one that made me smile the most. I took a self-care day on Friday, my girlfriend made the cutest little selfcare list for me. I had a little girls night out with my bestfriend. We went to a restaurant by the dock and drank a bit. My guy bestfriend came over on Easter Sunday and we drank wine then vibe to Drake. We love to talk about our feelings with Drake blasting. My girlfriend and I hopped on a video call and she made me laugh a whole lot on Easter Monday. I felt truly happy and the feeling just hasn’t left.

The simple things in life should be treasured

Girl In Her Twenties

God has been good to me and I don’t let it go unnoticed. I thank him every opportunity I get. He has constantly shown me that I need to be hopeful through the storm because he has better days ahead for me.

I wanna change the narrative, lets talk about happy things. It’s Saturday night, what’s making you happy this week? Let me know in the comments.

THE END OF 2021 . . . HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

THE END OF 2021 . . . HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

It feels like it was just yesterday I was on my computer writing New Year, No Resolutions. It’s flabbergasting to think 365 days came and went in the blink of an eye. Every month had something new up its sleeve and it’s been quite the year.

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Relationship Advice. . . KEEP IT PRIVATE!

Relationship Advice. . . KEEP IT PRIVATE!

Photo credit: We Heart It

I’ve always felt like the type of person that would get married, tell no one and just keep on living normally. Outside opinions and perceptions can be detrimental to relationships and even marriages from my point of view. There is a Jamaican saying, “too many cooks spoil the pot (meal)”, I believe this especially with social media being so prevalent in this day and age.

The need to ‘share’ is almost impulsive thanks to social media. . .

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Maybe Living Alone Isn’t For Me

Maybe Living Alone Isn’t For Me

Photo source: HuffPost

Disclaimer: this is my blog thus these thoughts and opinions are mine. This is how I feel as it pertains to me and I’m speaking for myself. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions on this topic, I’m simply sharing mine.

Let’s dive into this week’s blog . . . Living alone, yes or no?

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Maybe I’m a Little Upset; A Rant About Men

Maybe I’m a Little Upset; A Rant About Men

GIPHY

Honestly, I haven’t been going out of my way to interact or flirt with men since my maybe a relationship isn’t for me post, if you aren’t in my circle of male friends or the Spanish language exchange guy from Interpals then there is a 99.999% chance I won’t break my neck to converse with you. I don’t detest men (had to say it before you thought about it), I just can’t deal with the disappointment some carry around with them then dump on you, an innocent burden-less bystander.

One thing for sure, two things for certain, a man will find a way to disappoint you.

Girl in Her Twenties

It was Monday afternoon, I was checking my emails on my computer when I saw an email from Facebook, it was letting me know someone had messaged me which I found weird. I don’t have Facebook messenger because I don’t really use Facebook that often so what would be the purpose of messenger I always reasoned, that and I’m fearful of depleting my 130 GB phone storage (feel free to laugh but my last phone taught me a hard lesson).

The message was from a guy I went to college with, let’s call him “Sin”. He was basically saying he saw me last week Tuesday and he said hi but he wasn’t sure if I heard or saw him then he sent the eye emoji message on Monday. I can’t lie, I saw the person that Tuesday but they were far away in a jeep and my eyesight is awful (I’m nearsighted) so I didn’t know who it was exactly so I pretended I didn’t see. Anyways, I told him I didn’t know it was him (I didn’t feel the need to overexplain so I didn’t), he complimented me saying I still look really good and haven’t changed physically since college. I made a few jokes and we started conversing for the next 3 or so days.

I had a crush on Sin during my second semester of college because we were in the same elective class but we were always casual, our interactions have always been “smiles, hi, smiles, how are you?, smiles and see you around, smiles“. We never passed each other without greeting one another, I never pushed it because I wasn’t sure if he liked me since he was always quiet around me; he was cute so I just stuck to admiring him.

Our 3 day conversation brought back those hallway memories of him in a midnight blue football jersey and jeans with his polite greetings and for a moment my interest felt like it was re-peaking but then he never responded to my message and it’s been a whole day!

Now, I’m upset because we were having a conversation, it wasn’t an “are you good?” “yes I’m okay, you?” thing, it was an actual conversation with dialogue and he never responded midway! I’m not sending no eye emoji or asking him why he left the conversation midway even though I want to (I blame having a male bestfriend for this, I sometimes forget I’m a woman and I have to let them chase and not actively pursue them sometimes). Mentally I’ve been screaming, why did you initiate a conversation you had no intentions of finishing, that’s stupid, my fingers really want to type that as a message.

Whenever he chooses to respond, I will be the smaller person and leave his message on seen so he can know I read it and have no intentions of responding. A part of me thinks, he thinks I intentionally ignored his messages so he continued the conversation to do it back to me, honestly that would be stupid of him again because I genuinely didn’t see the message until a week later by pure chance.

This is probably bad karma for not liking the boys that like me, in my defense I like mutual interest (both of us liking each other) lol.

I might do a part 2 if anything funny/interesting happens, stay tune lovely readers. Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Overthinking in Dating

Overthinking in Dating

Photo source: Unknown

I’m one of those persons that overthink more than it’s necessary, especially when it comes to flirting, dating and crushes, I’ll ruin a good thing with the outlandish thoughts in my mind (I swear).

If you don’t give me an answer, I’ll 1000% come up with numerous ones until you do.

Girl in Her Twenties

I can’t read between the lines so I never really know if the person I like, likes me too or is flirting with me so I let my mind output assumptions upon assumptions until I’ve found a suitable conclusion that silences my busy mind, weird right? It is you can say it.

Let’s look at a current example, remember I downloaded Interpals two weeks ago? Surprisingly, I haven’t deleted it as yet and even more astonishing I’ve found another person who has been helping me improve my Español, he’s actually helping and interesting too.

While learning more about him and sharing 5% of the true me (that’s a lot for me to share with a stranger), I’ve somehow found myself semi-invested in our conversations, I hear a notification and I’m mentally chanting “please let it be him” and other times I’m telling myself don’t you dare touch that phone, wait 10 minutes to reply so you don’t look desperate.

Suddenly, my mind starts doing what it does best, self-sabotage. The conclusion is to uninstall the app for 3 days, rid myself of that semi-investment and rejoin with a more detached mood. Extreme right? Kind of but I realize the extremes my mind is willing to go to just to protect me but I also know just because it’s extreme protection doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do.

I’ve been learning that you’ll never truly know how someone feels unless they tell you or you ask so assumptions will always be assumptions. I like how mature I can be sometimes, let me pat myself on the back and reward my growth with pink flavored Starburst tomorrow.

My advice is simple, don’t let your mind ruin a good thing (a friendship, good conversation, relationship, job opportunity etc), sometimes we are so convinced that something is going to fail that we don’t give it the opportunity to prove us wrong.

I hope your week is off to a good start and continue to stay safe and enjoy the rest of the week💕

23 Life Lessons. . . It’s My Birthday!

23 Life Lessons. . . It’s My Birthday!

Photo source: Giphy

IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! (Yes, I’m actually screaming, cover your ears)

I don’t make a big fuss on my birthday but I really enjoy the sweet messages from friends and family because words of affirmation is one of my main love languages and I like eating cake every year. I’ve been reflecting a lot, I strongly believe 23 is my Jordan year and I wanted to share 23 life lessons that I’ve learned to celebrate this.

Lesson #1 Healing from past trauma is mandatory and should be a priority for you because the hurt you hide away from doesn’t stop until it finds and destroys you.

Lesson #2 There is a 99.1% chance that the guy who only makes you cry and doesn’t match your energy isn’t your person/soulmate sis, forget him!

Lesson #3 Your body is a temple, love yourself, adore all the parts that are flawed and imperfect in your eyes because they deserve every ounce of your admiration. It’s true, if you can’t love yourself you will never be able to love someone else.

Lesson #4 Be kind, you never know what someone else is going through so choose kindness but know when to check a disrespectful person.

Lesson #5 Toxic friendships will destroy you, let that bad friend go!

Lesson #6 It’s okay to choose your passions over something practical.

Lesson #7 It’s okay to choose something practical over your passions.

Lesson #8 Life is a trial & error, some stuff will fail and others will be successful; treasure the experiences and keep going.

Lesson #9 Don’t forget to live a little!

Lesson #10 Stay hydrated, like seriously drink your 8 cups of water daily.

Lesson #11 If you like someone tell them, rejection never killed anybody so you will survive.

Lesson #12 Forgive those that have hurt you and love them from a distance if they don’t contribute positively to your life.

Lesson #13 Learn money management and save your money.

Lesson #14 Be accountable, know when you are wrong and apologize when necessary.

Lesson #15 It hurts less when you decide to impulsively pierce a body part but still do some research just to be aware.

Lesson #16 Binge watching Netflix series is a healthy habit, sometimes you just want to be alone.

Lesson #17 Learn more about sex, it’s important to know what you like and what makes your ocean flow.

Lesson #18 Cherish the people who actually stick by you even when you are hard to deal with.

Lesson #19 Your bad job(s) will make you appreciate your good one, don’t worry the bad ones don’t last forever.

Lesson #20 Don’t treat them how they’ve treated you, karma will deal with them for you.

Lesson #21 Friendship is the real prize!

Lesson #22 Real love exist and you aren’t asking for too much you are just asking the wrong person.

Lesson #23 The life you desire, the love you require, the career you dream about and the people you need will always find you because they were predestined for you, be patient good things are always worth the wait.

This blog has played a major role in my personal journey and has helped me grow especially when it comes to expression and feelings, I hope to keep writing and entertaining y’all for a couple for years. Happy Birthday to me!!!!!

TANGERINE DREAM; A Poem

TANGERINE DREAM; A Poem

Photo source: Freepik

This poem was inspired by the song ‘Tangerine Dream’ by Snoh Aalegra, tangerine dream in my opinion is the happily ever after you want that never happens, it’s when our minds entertain thoughts that reality can’t maintain which eventually leads to disappointment or worse heartbreak.

Girl in Her Twenties
Poem by me
Falling in Love Vs Standing (Growing) in Love

Falling in Love Vs Standing (Growing) in Love

Photo source: Tiny Buddha

The instant, intense and whirlwind version of love has always appealed to me, that’s what I consider as ‘falling in love’ while growing in love is more steady and intimate, it’s taking your time to learn and understand the simple and intricate small and big parts of your partner.

Girl in Her Twenties

Maybe it’s the Leo in me or a personal trait inherited from an ancestor but falling passionately in love has always been both intoxicating and captivating for me; it’s my preferred version of love or at least it was. Don’t be concerned, my last relationship didn’t render me completely emotionally unavailable, however, I do think throwing caution to the wind ain’t a bad idea.

Recently my best friend said to me he’s taking his time with his new relationship, he’s growing in love instead of falling in it and I thought “darn after so many fast & furious, crash and burn relationships, would growing in love be such a bad thing”, I didn’t bother to answer my thoughts because I wanted to write about it.

Then there was a quote on Instagram that said being understood is the rarest form of intimacy and I completely agree, this ties into the whole growing in love concept I have (let me explain). I don’t believe someone can instantly understand you or vice versa, there is instant connection for sure but being understood takes time, falling in love from my point of view doesn’t offer that time, maybe because it is an incontrollable tornado to me.

It’s a different feeling being understood, it’s a game changer in a relationship and I believe it’s best achieved through the growing in love approach.

Photo source: iStock Photos

It’s not a bad thing to fall in love and it’s not a boring thing to grow in it either, you can mix the two and get the best of both worlds like Hannah Montana if you can.

Whenever I become emotionally available, I would like to venture down the growing in love path just to see how it feels, I assume it would be slow like planting a seed and patiently waiting on it to grow but it would be worth it when the seed breaks the soil and starts flourishing.

Tell me about your love experiences, have you ever fell in love or grew in love? What was the outcome?