Before I could manage my emotions, I had to accept my emotions. Before acceptance, I had to identify my emotions. Before identifying, I had to acknowledge my emotions. Before acknowledgment, I had to be honest with myself. And this took workTwitter: @Rwenshaun
You know what scares me more than having difficult conversations with others? Yes, you guessed it having difficult conversations with myself. My mind can be my best friend or worst enemy (it all depends on the day) but the more I’ve allowed myself to process my feelings and thoughts and be honest with myself, the more I realize the difficult conversations are necessary!
I think the reason difficult conversations are so difficult is because they require honesty. I know honesty is the best policy but the truth hurts and whether you are telling it to someone else or to yourself it still hurts. I’ve been accepting that it’s going to hurt and trying to be honest as I can be with myself. It takes time so don’t worry if the process feels like a rollercoaster.
Somehow it has been working for me . . . sometimes I’m reluctant, other times I’m open and willing; it’s a working progress. It’s worth it though, I’m seeing how it is positively affecting my communication and relationship with others. I can internally feel the difference as well, I’m handling myself a lot better than I did before.
Here are a few tips and tricks that might be helpful for your difficult conversations with yourself.
- Allow yourself to process your emotions and thoughts. I know this can be overwhelming but it is necessary.
- Journal or write down how you are feeling. A psychologist told me this is called ‘transferring energy’ or something like that. You can choose to journal in a book or write your thoughts and feelings out in your notes section on your phone.
- Sit with your emotions and thoughts. You can do this after processing your thoughts or journaling.
- Be honest with yourself while sitting with your feelings. This is crucial!
I’m not a professional, these are just small things I’ve been trying out. I wasn’t always this emotionally connected with myself but I’ve noticed I’m getting better with the help of these simple actions.
Working on yourself is a lifelong journey. It takes time, work, patience, compassion and honesty. However, it is possible to be a better version of yourself. The older I get is the more I strive towards that goal.